I have taken all the following from the visitor book the Sutcliffes kept whilst they were wardens. Many thanks to the poets, and I hope you do not mind me making them quite so public.
Those who I know will mind... well, I did put anon for you!!
Contents:
Skomer, Skomer...
Skomer, Skomer
What a misnomer
It should be paradise
With nowt to fear
'cept withdrawal from beer
And a sleeping bag full of lice.
By Chloe Aspinwall
Back to beginning
I grabbed a shearwater
But it didn't behave as it ought to
She did puke and bite
And s**t and fight
But finally I caught her
Christ Almighty, what a whiff
The b****r had been rung
I did not care
Steve was not there
So I checked her off a cliff
Ha ha bunk bunk splatt
Also by Chloe Aspinwall!
Jack the Munt
Here lies the body of Jack the Munt
Killed by a fall- not by the hunt
Behind the house when night is dark
You may hear his ghostly bark
Where he came from no-one knows
Swam "muntjac sound" you may suppose
Roamed the island on his own
No little doe to write or phone
Laid to rest by "Dirty Den"
Praises sung by John and his pen
Skinned by Anna- got a bit "high"
Gone to that Deer Park in the sky
By John Waddington 13/3/93- "based on a true story", as they say...
Ode to the New Warden (Paul Goddard, I believe)
He mumbles not talks
He slopes not walks
He's a jelly of giggles
That's the end of our squiggles
By...Anon! (Even I'm not that cruel). I am told that this one was written "under the influence..."
Ode to the Old Warden- the Accent Man (err...)
The Accent Man can be really sweet
Or he can be a complete g*t (they rhyme if you force them to)
The Accent Man does not like liers
His accent turns us into sigh-ers
By...Anon
Skomer gets better every year
We'll be back, have no fear
But for now we'll shed a tear
F**kin'ell I can't think of anything else- dear!!
Ringing fluffs is always fun
Except for when you don't get none
Those blasted gull chicks make you run
But it's better than counting gulls in the sun
By... another Anon.
The life on Skomer is great
You don't have to be up at 8 (or 9, or 10, or 11)
There's garlic by the ton
And lots of work to be done
We came and dug a hole
And saw a Skomer Vole
Red frogs, pink elephants too
They were something to do with the glue (and the Cointreau)
The wind it blew and blew
(those vestas really are bad!)
The wall grew higher too
In building we all took turns
Oh yes- there were these ferns!
We've really enjoyed our stay
We don't want to go away (Sorry, couldn't think of anything else to rhyme)
But please to Steve not a word
We HAVE seen a "mocking bird"
By Virginia and Norman Hawkins 23/7/87
There once was a puffin
Just the shape of a muffin
And he lived on an island
In the bright blue sea
He ate little fishes
That were most delicious
He had them for supper
And he had them for tea
BUT- this poor little puffin,
He didn't have nuffin
To play with at all
So along came the fishes
And said, "if you wishes,
You can have us for play
Instead of for tea"
So they now play together
In all kinds of weather
And the puffin eats pancakes
Like you and like me!
By Ceri